Our approach to goals is also shaped by how we perceive reality. A crucial distinction lies between process-oriented thinking and outcome-oriented thinking. The Have-Do-Be and Do-Have-Be models are heavily outcome-oriented. The focus is solely on the end result, and if that result isn’t achieved, it can lead to disappointment and a sense of failure. This can make the journey feel like a means to an end, rather than a valuable experience in itself.
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Lao Tzu
The Be-Do-Have model, however, encourages process-oriented thinking. While outcomes are important, the primary focus is on the journey of becoming and the actions taken along the way. It’s about enjoying the learning, the growth, and the daily steps. When you are process-oriented, you find joy and fulfillment in the present moment, and the outcomes become a natural byproduct of a well-executed process. This approach fosters resilience, as setbacks are seen as part of the learning process, not as definitive failures. In the man and horse analogy, this is the rider focusing on the rhythm of the ride, the training of the horse, and the beauty of the landscape, knowing that the destination will be reached in due course.
Finally, consider how we perceive reality: through a dualistic or probabilistic lens. Dualistic thinking sees the world in terms of rigid binaries: right/wrong, success/failure, good/bad. This black-and-white perspective can lead to extreme judgments, fear of failure, and a limited view of a possibility. It often fuels the outcome-oriented mindset, where anything less than perfect success is deemed a complete failure.
Probabilistic thinking, on the other hand, embraces nuance and uncertainty. It understands that life is a spectrum of possibilities, and that outcomes are rarely guaranteed but rather exist on a scale of likelihood. This mindset allows for flexibility, adaptation, and a more realistic approach to challenges. Instead of fearing failure, you assess probabilities, learn from experiences, and adjust your approach. It fosters a growth mindset, where every attempt, regardless of its immediate outcome, provides valuable data for future endeavors. This perspective aligns beautifully with the Be-Do-Have model, as it encourages continuous evolution and a deeper understanding of the interconnectedness of being, doing, and having. It’s like the rider understanding that the journey isn’t always a straight line, and sometimes the horse will stumble, but with a flexible approach, they will still reach their destination.