The Blueprint of Your Reality #
Before we fully delve into the transformative Be-Do-Have model, it’s crucial to understand the foundational role of your self-image. Your self-image is the mental picture you have of yourself—your beliefs about who you are, what you’re capable of, and what you deserve. It’s the internal blueprint that dictates your actions, shapes your perceptions, and ultimately, determines your results.
“Man cannot consistently act beyond what he believes himself to be.” — Maxwell Maltz, Psycho-Cybernetics
Self-Image as Your Inner Compass #
Your self-image acts as a powerful inner compass. If you perceive yourself as incapable, unworthy, or unlucky, your actions will unconsciously align with that belief, creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. Conversely, a strong, positive self-image empowers you to take bold actions and persist through challenges, because you inherently believe in your capacity to succeed. It sets the boundaries of what you believe is possible for you.
The Rider’s Vision and the Horse’s Belief #
In our Rider and Horse analogy, your self-image is the Rider’s deeply held vision of both themselves and their Horse. If the Rider believes they are clumsy and their Horse is untrainable, their actions will reflect that belief, leading to poor performance. However, if the Rider clearly visualizes their own strength and capability, and the Horse’s potential, the Horse, in turn, senses the Rider’s confidence and responds in kind. A confident Rider inspires a capable Horse. The Horse (subconscious) will always strive to act in alignment with the Rider’s (conscious) dominant self-image.
Universal Impact of Self-Image #
Consider a student who believes they are “bad at math.” This self-image, regardless of their actual potential, will likely lead them to avoid math, give up easily on challenging problems, and confirm their own belief. Or an individual who sees themselves as a “victim of circumstances” will consistently find external factors to blame for their lack of progress. Conversely, someone with a strong self-image as a “problem-solver” will approach challenges with resilience and creativity, often finding solutions where others see only obstacles. Your self-image is constantly at play, influencing your career, relationships, health, and financial well-being.
My Own Self-Image Transformation #
For a long time, my self-image was tied to external validation—my job title, my salary, the approval of others. When my software engineering experience ended in disillusionment, my self-image took a severe hit. I questioned my competence, my worth, and even my passion. This negative self-image initially sabotaged my early attempts at trading; I would unconsciously make decisions that confirmed my underlying belief that I wasn’t “good enough” or “lucky enough” to succeed independently. It was only when I consciously began to cultivate a new self-image—that of a disciplined, resilient, and capable individual, independent of external validation—that my actions in trading, and in life, began to align with my true aspirations. This wasn’t about faking it; it was about consistently acting as the person I intended to be, until that became my new reality.
Cultivating a Powerful Self-Image #
Cultivating a healthy self-image is the first step towards truly embodying the ‘Be’ in the Be-Do-Have model. Here are practical ways to begin:
- Identify Limiting Beliefs: Become aware of the negative self-talk and beliefs that hold you back. Challenge their validity.
- Practice Affirmations: Consistently repeat positive statements about who you are and who you are becoming. (e.g., “I am capable,” “I am resilient,” “I am worthy of success.”)
- Visualize Success: Regularly imagine yourself already possessing the qualities and achieving the goals you desire. Feel the emotions associated with that success.
- Act “As If”: Begin to take actions consistent with the person you want to be, even if you don’t fully feel like that person yet. Behavior shapes belief.
- Surround Yourself with Support: Seek out environments and people who reinforce a positive self-image and encourage your growth.
The Foundation for Authentic Being #
Your self-image is not static; it is a dynamic construct that you can consciously shape. By cultivating a healthy and empowering self-image, you lay the essential groundwork for authentic being, enabling the Rider to guide the Horse with unwavering confidence and purpose. This internal alignment is the true starting point for attracting your desired reality.